Month: May 2011

Doomsday To Do List – So Much To Do, So Little Time

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As you’ve no doubt already heard, today is the end of the world so if you have any unfinished business to attend to, get moving and get er’ done. One thing’s for sure, it’s not like we didn’t have any warnings about the inevitable coming of the apocalypse. Signs were everywhere.

Still not convinced ? If you were an almighty power and gave your creation free will to take all the beauty you’ve given them to go forth and enhance life on earth and harness the wonders all around you and the best we come up with is this:

Wouldn’t you cash in the chips and move on to something else too? Still not convinced ? How about this:

Granted – he is amusing but holy cow, where the hell do we go from here ?!?! So again, the end is literally around the corner so here’s a list of things to do (or not to do) in lieu of the coming destruction.

1. Don’t pay any debt. (Why bother?)
2. Run with scissors. (What’s the worst that can happen, you’re gonna die anyway)
3. Tell the neighborhood bully he’s an idiot. (Even if he beats the crap out of you it will only hurt for a few hours)
4. Tell your office mates you’re the one secretly passing the silent but deadly ones. (You think they’re going to care at a time like this?)
5. Call you’re cable company and order all the premium channels. (If you’re gonna die, may as well have an awesome selection of viewing options)
6. Use real butter. (Seriously, you’re going to worry about your cholesterol now ?)
7. Order and actually eat a baconator. (After eating one, world’s end won’t come quick enough)
8. Mix your recyclables in with your regular garbage. (No amount of recycling will save us now)
9. Rent a Ferrari and drive the bajeezus out of it. 
10. Do something really stupid………. but what ? 



In the event that the world doesn’t end, do not attempt anything on the previously mentioned list. They were only suggestions anyway. Yup – it’s over folks. However you choose to spend you’re last day on earth, hope you enjoy doing it and if at all possible – Keep It Retro !





R.I.P Randy “Macho Man” Savage (1952 -2011)

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Sad news today from the world of professional “real” wrestling. Randy “Macho Man” Savage died tragically after suffering a heart attack while driving his SUV in Tampa, Florida. His wife, who was in the car with him, only suffered minor injuries.

Randall Mario Poffo held twenty championship titles during his professional career and along with Hulk Hogan was one of the primary drivers behind the success of the WWF and bringing professional wrestling to the mainstream.
He brought a unique style to the ring along with his raspy voice and trademark “Ohhhh yeaaah” and took full advantage of the marketing machine that was the WWF (now the WWE) and became one of their biggest stars. In typical wrestling form, he shifted side many times during his career going from bad guy to good guy making and breaking various alliances along the way and was “managed” for most of his career by his wife Elizabeth Ann “Miss Elizabeth” Hulette who died of a drug overdose in 2003. 



Wherever you stand on the subject of whether wrestling is real, you can’t deny the incredible fitness required to survive in the ring and the punishment a body must endure. He was an athlete and he reinvented himself many times and always managed to climb back on top both in the ring and out. His greatest match without a doubt was in Wrestlemania III with Ricky Steamboat in what arguably the best match in wrestling history. 
 

Royal Wedding Retro Copycats

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Time and time again there is evidence that nothing is new. It’s all been done before. Everything is a remix. There are very rarely new and original ideas. Need more proof ? Check out the picture below of the recent Royal wedding of Will and Kate and the other classic Royal wedding in Cinderella which was a Disney movie from 1950.

Honestly, you’d think the British Royal family could come up with an original thought !!

The Truth Is Out There – Super Heroes Run the White House

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I was shocked to find out that the picture floating around of the U.S. President in the situation room watching the events unfold in Abbottabad were doctored. They lied damn it !! Unbelievable. However – the truth can not be suppressed. Here now is the un-retouched, original photo of the situation room on that fateful, historic night with the President and his staff. This explains a lot.

Un-edited actual image of the White House situation room May 1, 2011

Return of the Commodore C64 – Seriously……..

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Back when the world of personal computing was young, Commodore computers pretty much were the ones to beat. The company offered a pretty compelling argument, if you’re going to spend money on a gaming platform, why not spend it on an actual computer that played awesome (for the time) video games instead. 



With the success of the company’s entry level personal computer, the VIC 20, Commodore released their next generation platform the C64 in 1982. This 8-bit wonder machine offered an unheard of 64K standard memory, standard audio and video that was better than IBM and Apple’s offerings, all for a mere $595 which was far less expensive than anything comparable. It game with a built in RF modulator which allowed you to connect it to a TV and came built in with the Basic programming language on startup. Nothing could come close to that at the time.  

Commodore Data Cassette
The machine’s success came in part from Commodore’s decision to offer it through regular retail outlets, department stores and toy retailers as well as regular electronic stores. This coupled with the availability of over 10,000 titles helped push the total number of units sold to almost 17 million worldwide making it the best selling personal computer model of all time according to the Guiness Book of World Records. 

Despite its success and the release of newer and more powerful models, Commodore struggled and went bankrupt in 1994. As with most things these days, old is new again. 


Commodore USA has bought the rights and will be releasing a modernized version of the C64 featuring modern guts including a dual core 1.8Ghz Atom processor, Nvidia video chipset, up to 4GB of ram, memory readers, USB ports, HDMI outputs and built in WiFi. The price ? Just like 1982 starting at just $595. I’m not sure what that really says about technology when you think about it. I have more computing power in my toaster than the original C64 and it only cost me $20. Having said that, I can’t play any games with it. 


Pre-orders have been strong and or many nostalgic users it will surely be a hit. The company plans to revive the VIC and Amiga lines as well which could take this whole retro thing to a whole new level. Rather than having gadgets that look modern and high tech, it will be far hipper to have a clunky looking thing that kicks technical butt. I’m sure Motorola is watching this with eager anticipation.







BONUS !!!  Vic-20 Commercial featuring The Shat !! 


           

Happy Retro Mother’s Day !!

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If you happen to have forgotten mother’s day, which is is today, don’t be surprised if the looks your getting from mama look something like this.


And rightly so. After all, regardless of what you think of your mother, remember one thing – she grew a human being inside her body. Let me say that again – she grew a human being (or possibly a few) in her body. For that alone you have to respect her. She sacrificed her body, time and energy and smothered you with unconditional love to make you the person you are today and you couldn’t take the time to drop by a Hallmark store? Mr T pities the fool that doesn’t respect his mom. 


I’m still lucky to have my mom in my life and it amazes me that even at her age she seems to have more energy than I do and still manages to keep smiling even with all the aches and pain that come with getting older. What’s the secret ? How does she do it ?


Many have entertained the Supermom theory and that would certainly explain a lot however a more plausible theory on how mom is able to do all that she does and still keep on smiling would be……..


Still, however it is they are able to do what they do and still keep on smiling, more power to them. For most of us, your mom was and possibly still is your rock that was there every time you had a bad day, or made a dumb mistake or just had a case of the blahs. One hug from her or a finely crafted bowl of soup and you felt better – that’s the true magic of motherhood and that’s what we celebrate. 


Here’s to all the mothers out there. Hope someone spoils you rotten…….. in a retro way (sorry – had to slip that in)

  
 

Another Where Were You When Moment

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Today’s news about the elimination of America’s public enemy number one brings to mind another day that I will never forget, September 11, 2001. As you know, on that day the world changed and most likely will never be the same. 


On that day I found myself in Chicago, Illinois. The previous day was my travel day so even to this day I wonder what could have happened had I made arrangements to fly on the Monday morning rather then the Sunday afternoon. I was in training with a group of Americans from all over the United States. I was the only Canadian there. When we heard of the first plane hitting the first tower, we all went to a common room with a television and together saw the second plane hit and the collapse of the two towers along with the attack on the Pentagon and of course the other downed plane that through the courage of some brave souls prevented the unnecessary death of more innocent people. Obviously we were stunned into silence. I remember a helpless feeling wash over me as I watched the screen and the silence in the room was deafening. Then the fear set in. Fear of the unknown. 


What the hell was happening? Who did this? What else was coming? What are the other targets? Is my family safe? Is this the end or just the beginning? Years later we’re still trying to answer those questions. One of the strangest and most emotional things I’ve experienced happened that evening. We were all in the hotel bar and we were trying to make sense of the day. The music was on but only to serve as a distraction – nobody was in the mood to dance or joke around. Suddenly a song came on and everyone kind of stopped and started to sing. The  song was Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA”. 


Being Canadian, I had never even heard of the song let alone heard the lyrics. As I listened to the words and the voices of the people trying to choke their tears as they sang loud and proudly, I realized something had come over me. I forgot I was Canadian – I felt American. I felt violated and I felt my way of life had been attacked that day. I became American. You really had to be there. I’ve heard that song a few times since then and though it still moves me, it’s never hit me as hard as it did that day. 

Regardless of your political stripe or whose God you follow – innocent people do not deserve to die in any country for religious reasons. Attacking the towers served to wake a sleeping giant that day and change a lot of the things we’ve taken for granted for so long. Even though the world is rid of the evil that brought that destruction to the American shores, his legacy will continue to inspire more like minded individuals which again means our world will probably never be the same. However, I believe good will triumph and the righteous will prevail. It always and always will. God Bless America and God help us all.