Category: vintage ads

More Vintage Ads From A Simpler or Possibly More Gullible Time

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In a previous post we covered ads from a simpler time that were some of the most sexist we’ve seen. (Click here to see that post) Let’s take a look at a few more ads that were not so much sexist but just kinda dumb.  

This ad was pretty hopeful. Some day ALL beer cans will open as easy as the new Schlitz soft aluminum cans. The old cans needed a can opener to get to the amber nectar within but the new cans can be easily opened simply with…… a can opener. Progress baby……progress. 

No different than now, back in the 40s people would look to medical professionals for advice on how be the best they could be. Since more doctors preferred Camels, naturally the smart thing for a smoker to do was to switch to Camels as well. You’d have to be a complete idiot to smoke a brand not endorsed by a dapper doctor who smokes in his office. Been a long time since we’ve seen an ashtray in an examination room. 


While we’re on the subject of smoking, this ad also offered advice but this time it’s tips on how to be irresistible to women. Apparently if you blow in her face, shell follow you anywhere. Oh she’ll follow you alright. That ranks right up there with making her pay for her own dinner when on a date or hitting on her girlfriend right in front of her. Seriously……try it, girls love that. 

I’m fairly sure the follow-up ad was “They’re dead because they ate lard.” I’m not sure what’s more sad, the fact you owe your happiness in life to rendered pig fat or that people actually worked for an organization called the Lard Information Council. I’m guessing their office has re-enforced chairs……. just sayin’. 



So it appears the secret to staying thin was discovered way back in the 30s but has been suppressed all these decades by the evil pharmaceuticals making billions on all those diet pills and potions when all you really need to stay trim and sexy are tape worms. Now with no ill effects and easy to swallow ! At least they had the decency to sanitize them before selling them to the public.  

  

Retro Ad of the Day – The Spirit of Christmas

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One thing that has changed since the retro days of old are the television ads around Christmas time. Sure even back then, advertisers were trying their hardest to get you to spend your hard earned dollars on bigger and better gifts for little Timmy or that special someone but they weren’t smacking you upside the head with the message or trying to make you feel like less of a human for not spending more for a bigger, better gift than you bought last year.


There was always a beautiful Christmas scene with snow and a happy family sharing a magical Christmas moment with tender looks and gentle hugs. Then while sipping on hot cocoa, mom would present a beautifully wrapped gift to little Cindy who opened it and beamed like the little cherub she was to the delight of the whole family.


Of course nowawdays they show little Cindy freaking out because she didn’t get a 3g iPhone or a new car with a big bow waiting for her in the driveway. Meanwhile dad is sleeping on the couch because he thought a new blender would be the perfect gift to go with the Slap Chop he bought mom for her birthday. Was it really necessary to hurl it at him like that? How’s he supposed to return it now?

With that in mind, let’s take a look at a couple of Christmas ads that you’ll remember and will warm you up better than any Snuggie ever could.

There are of course some exceptions………

Modern Mothers Know Best

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In an earlier post, we saw how advertisers in the 50s dealt with the delicate subject of feminine hygiene. The fact that the product used for achieving the ultimate in feminine squeaky cleanliness was Lysol disinfectant, proved to be more disturbing than the ad itself.

In a similar ad, we now see how modern mothers of the 50s and 60s handled this delicate subject with their daughters.

Kind of rude I admit but that ad had nothing on the ad below that kind of illustrates what our 50s era modern mother was eluding to. Subtle like a brick to the side of the face. Yet another example of an ad designed and written by a man, sold by a man and bought by a man. Keep in mind – these are both real ads from back in the day.

Retro Ad of the Day – Diet Pepsi

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Some of the most innovative ads of the 80s and 90s were a result of the cola wars that waged between industry giants Coca-Cola and Pepsi. This bitter rivalry started in the late 1800’s (talk about retro!) and continues to this very day.

Soft drink origins date back when herbal cola syrup mixtures were sold in pharmacies as cure-alls and brain tonics. Colas back then actually contained coca extract from the kola nut that is better known today as cocaine. Needless to say people liked to get their cola fix but found the stuff too hard to drink straight so pharmacists began mixing it with water at first and eventually soda water which many people found be a very pleasant tasting beverage. Fast forward 100 years, the cocaine is no longer an ingredient, but we’re still sucking the stuff back like it actually does a body good. Hardly.

So here’s a small tribute to some of the Pepsi ads from back in the day. Why Pepsi instead of Coke? It gave me an excuse to post an ad with a young Cindy Crawford………that’s why.

Vintage Ads From A Simpler Time – That Are Sexist As Hell

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In a previous post we covered retro ads from a simpler time that were among the creepiest I’ve ever seen. (Click here to see that post) Let’s now take a look at some ads that were done in a time when it was considered a man’s world and women were here only to serve men, be a perfect wife, do all the house work, try not to do stupid things and always be fresh and pretty regardless of what they were doing.

We all know that not only does such a Utopia not exist (I’m kidding ladies) but in retrospect, the people behind the creative direction of these ads really missed the mark not only conceptually but the ad wording (or copy in technical terms) is just plain awful. Clearly, these ads were designed by men, written by men, sold by men and bought by men.

“Husbands admire wives who keep their stockings perfect.” I love how this ad implies that being married is no reason for a woman to let herself go and should always look her best. Especially since the guy took the trouble to put on a suit and tie to read the paper while she knits. What’s going through his mind? “What’s this? A run in Jane’s stockings? Could I have married the wrong woman?!? How many more years before divorce becomes an acceptable society norm?!?!?”

You really don’t need to read beyond the lead line to know where this ad is going. The copy goes on to say that the beauty photographed in the picture is “stacked and endowed” with the most refined developments for culinary perfection. I’ll bet it is. Of course they are talking about the appliance but the double play on words is typical for the ads in the late 60s and early 70s.
So to recap, in the 70s, cooking was what wives were for………and they better not have a run in their stockings while they are cooking and whatever they knit better not be in weird colors damn it!

Forget Victoria’s Secret or a day at the spa – if you want your woman to look better, simply give her more to do around the house. Oh, she also needs vitamins apparently.

Thank god Delmonte made a ketchup bottle that woman could open when their men weren’t around. Although how the heck is she supposed to open the mustard and relish? Were women condemned to have ketchup as the only condiment option when their men weren’t around? The woman in the ad looks so shocked and thrilled she’s liable to start putting ketchup on everything. Why? Because she can!!!!!

Apparently men were too stupid to operate Telex machines back in the day but they sure knew how to hire sweet operators. By the way, the price for the glorified word processor in the picture started at $6800. To contrast, I’m pretty sure my toaster has more processing power and it only cost $28 and it wasn’t even a sale!

Newflash – if you have 14 fingernails, a dirty oven is the least of your concerns. You’ll never get people to stop staring and good luck finding a decent pair of gloves. Also note the puke green color of the oven that was actually a very popular color for appliances at one time. Although I think they called it something nicer than puke green. Having said that, judging by the content of these ads, you never know.

Who Knew That Lysol Was a Girl’s Best Friend?

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Read the ad first. Not sure what’s more disturbing about this ad, the fact this woman needs a household cleaner to achieve that fresh feeling down there or that women walked around in the 50’s smelling like pine cones. Honestly, what if it didn’t work? Where do you go from there if Lysol doesn’t work for you? It was the 50s afterall – Woolite? (Just sayin’……..)

I can imagine the conversation at the lodge between the men.

“Say, how’s the Lysol working for you Bob?”

“Pretty good Fred! Got the boat all scrubbed down and ready for fishing!”

“That’s great Bob. How’d it work on Ethel?”

“Not so good Fred…….not so good.”

“That’s a damn shame Bob.”

“Go to hell Fred.”

Vintage Ads From A Simpler Time – That Creep You Out!

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You often hear of people talk about the good ol’ days because those were pure and innocent times. These days, we seem bombarded with TV and magazine ads that push the boundaries of good taste or obscenity.

Here’s a collection of ads from simpler times that used the innocent images of suicide, murder, wife beating and pedophilia to sell their wares. We’ve certainly come a long way – suddenly a half naked woman strutting her stuff doesn’t seem so bad!

Click the politically correct ad below to go to the article: